Ewan and I were pretty annoyed when our promised front row seats to the High Jump failed to materialise, so we had to take matters into our own hands if we had any hope of seeing the event.
It wasn't until Mike The Shite rocked up at the shop looking to buy some ham that things got moving. He said he knew this dude who could get us some tickets but he was a bit iffy and shouldn't be approached without a gift. So we jot down the address and head out.
It was late afternoon before we got to the allotted place, even after our swift progress through the gumdrop forest and the haunted ruins. It took us a while to locate the entrance, what with it being a black door down the side of an alleyway, but the sun was out and all its menacing attributes were lost under a radiant summer's afternoon. As directed we had arrived with a box of Matchmakers, orange not mint, and knocked on the door.
We were a bit nervous because of all the stories but Mike assured us that Dodgy Ronald was all talk and most of the tales we've heard were made up. Although he said the chocolate reindeer fiasco was all fact. So this put us a little on edge. I mean there are crazy bastards everywhere so you just have to keep your wits about you, which is why I bought Ewan that bum bag.
So the door creaks open on its haggard old hinges and this dude Ronald is just standing there naked except for a pink garter belt and a 'Vote For Pedro' T-shirt. Ewan was already gone so it was up to me to brave this guy's den and secure us our front row seats. He looks me up and down and seeing the Matchmakers he gestures and I hand them over. He slowly opens the packet and carefully chomps his way through the lot before crushing the packaging into a little ball with his little fingers.
There is a lot of silence before he invites me in and cracks open the Horlicks. After the brew is made up we get to talking. Seems that Ronald has some inside knowledge of Sebastian Coe's operations and that for a small fee he can sort us out with a few tickets, "If I get what he's saying." I don't have a clue so he comes clean and says he stole a box of tickets from this big pile at the Olympic Stadium while he was there delivering a box of high end cat food.
Our next hurdle is the haggling. Ronald wants two fifty each and I'm not happy with that at all. I say two thirty-five and he comes back with two forty-five. We aren't getting anywhere so after another Horlicks break we get things underway and a few hours later we agree on two sixty. I had no choice but to go higher because I had drunk my way through a whole jar and that shits expensive.
I hand over the change and after a few victories on Mario Kart 64 I head off. I'm walking back down the high street's low end to find Ewan still cowering behind the hardware store's emphatic mascot Mr. Spanners. I show him the tickets and after he is done wiping himself the excitement subsides and we head back to the shop to chill out until the events kick off.